My very, very quiet house

The dog is asleep...the girls have returned to college. Or they are with a friend. Or at work. The important thing, is they have a life that is fully their own. The once noisy and messy house is clean and quiet.

It is so very, very quiet.

The only sound this morning was the bird that sings outside my window.

Sometimes I think my house is too quiet. “I do not like this Sam I am”

I wish for the mess that once made me crazy. The hall from the garage to the kitchen is tidy. Shoes are with their owners.

Things do not get very messy now that little feet, once covered in mud, have been replaced by adult toes painted in pretty colors. Little baby feet fresh from the tub, oh they were my favorite!

My very quiet house makes me miss the days when they walked here.

When they have a break from school or work, they eat here- they sleep here. But the steps they take move them outside this home, this yard, this street.

They are wonderful girls. They make me smile. They are smart and fun and kind.

Most of all - they are so easy to be with.

There are no more temper tantrums, no fighting over shared toys. No need to clean out the bathtub moments after it was filled with warm water. Gone are the days of squirming toddlers running with a towel or toothbrush. Their bathroom is clean.

The kitchen is also clean and quiet. I do not make mac and cheese 2 times a day. In 3 different shapes.

My adult daughters cook and clean better than I do. Most days that makes me feel so proud.

Today, I am wistful.

The bird reminds me that it is quiet, and I long for the busy morning sounds and the mess of brown bag lunches for three girls who liked sandwiches without crusts and apples cut in slices with the core removed.

The bus stops near my house on the first day of school.

I remember how I used to spend most of my day driving them to and from school and dance and church.

Now I drive where I want, when I want…listening to what I want to listen to. So much joy! Morning is slow.

We were so busy on a school morning; we would only have a brief moment to pray a quick phrase, asking God to bless them and keep them.

But now, quiet moments with God is something they do alone. Something I do alone.

As it should be. Adults. That’s the goal!

It is what I wanted.

It is what I want.

To raise smart, brave, kind, and loving women has been a blessing.

A gift.

“One thing I ask and one thing I seek, that they would dwell in the house of the Lord forever .”

But now that my house is very clean and very, very quiet.

There are moments when I miss my messy, noisy home.